Shine Bright Like the Sweaty Mess You Are

I just moved, permanently, back to Florida. I am beyond excited to be back where I feel I most belong at this point in my life. I live in a three bedroom apartment with two of my best friends from the Disney College Program. Enter endless shenanigans and hilarity.

Florida is, basically, the same as I left it. The sky seems bigger here than it is back home due to the lack of mountains reaching up into the clouds. It is still summer so you can almost count on a quick shower or thunderstorm on a daily basis. Most importantly, it is hot.

By hot, I mean HOT.

There's a theory I've always held onto as a dancer and performer...girls do not sweat, we glisten. Yes, it's still sweat but just enough to make us look even better blah, blah, blah. Well, in Florida girls are not given this option. In Florida, everyone SWEATS. Giant beads of perspiration run uncontrollably down your face and neck before you even walk to your car. I had expected this, when returning to Florida. That's what I love about this state, the constant sunshine and consistent weather. However, it makes for interesting outings.

I'm still in the "get reunited with everyone" stage of my return, so constant dinners and hang outs. Even in restaurants, I find myself "glistening" when I should be putting on a sweater to guard against the typical cool of a restaurant. I had a first date at Magic Kingdom the other day that ended in us eating dinner at the ever elegant Be Our Guest restaurant. Fancy, right? I was a hot mess. My hair was hot and frizzy, wild curls everywhere. My dress was a sweaty disaster and I had to fight off the urge to guzzle a pitcher of water in front of my date. Attractive, I know.

Life lesson: If you can't take the heat...move to Alaska.

The 2.5 WPF Club.

I just celebrated the birthday of my favorite book "Pride and Prejudice". It seriously does not get better than Jane Austen. Keep trying Nick Sparks. To celebrate the special day, a literary friend of mine posted a vlog called "The Lizzie Bennett Blog". It was a modern twist on the beloved Bennett sisters. Very Carrie Bradshaw meets Elizabeth Bennett.

In the vlog, Lizzie brought up how her mother is only focused on her being married and becoming part of the 2.5 WPF Club.

What is the 2.5 WPF Club? I'm so glad you asked.

To be a member of this elite club, one must be married, have 2.5 kids, and live in a house with a white picket fence.

That's all folks.

The concept behind such a club rings true in our society. Excuse my hint of feminism, but women have become much more independent in my generation. No more just waiting around the house, prepping our hair, cleaning the perfect house, and fixing the Food Network worthy meal for our hard working husband. Women are working during the day, as well. Or at night. Or both. It's not even a feminist issue. The economy hasn't left us with much of a choice, honestly.

The independent, working girl gig is how I prefer things. Don't get me wrong. There is NOTHING wrong with women who just want a family to care and love on. I admire and respect that. Your 2.5 WPF pin is in the mail.

The real problem I see, is the balance in all this mess. When one does find true love and is ready to settle down, how do you find the right amount of balance of independent and dependent?

While my mother isn't as pushy as Mrs. Bennett, she does want me married and happy. She's always saying, "Kelly, it's going to hit you hard girl." I know she's right. It's happened before. Hence, why I want to be prepared.

If you're too independent in a serious relationship, it makes the man uncomfortable. In my last relationship, I kept doing everything how I always had. I quickly realized my boyfriend was starting to feel threatened, for lack of a better word. My time was not made for him. My focus was not on him. I'm a driven redhead. My bad. So I changed my approach. I picked up dinner, I helped him finish his projects. Guys...I played Halo with him. The things we do when we're in love.

However, I still didn't have balance. The table just tilted the other direction...drastically. I completely lost myself in him. I became a boyfriend pleaser. I was doing almost all his projects, spending all my time with him, changing my job for him. What happened to Miss Independent?

So I humbly ask...what is the key to holding the balance? To making sure both parties are still themselves while working together and depending on one another?

Lesson learned: This is a working progress. But I will not be a member of the 2.5 WPF Club anytime soon.

You Decide.

I'm sorry to report I am one of those girls who hates to makes decisions. Taking it a step further, I'm a redhead and, therefore, will refuse to make decisions.

The sad thing is, the kind of people who don't make decisions annoy me. I'll ask a friend to lunch and it takes us hours to decide on a place due to our inability to chose a simple restaurant. Thank God for Starbucks. At least coffee dates are stress free.

Many times, decision making goes so much deeper than even I realize. You have to seriously consider the consequences of the decision you are making. I can screw up a restaurant decision easily. What does that say about the big decisions?

The part that really gets me, though, is after you've made the decision. How do you know you've really made the right decision?

I recently had to make a huge decision that drastically focuses the next (at least) few years of my life. I had made my pros and cons list. Prayed about it. Meditated on it. Ran all the numbers. The decision I made had to be the right one. As I told all the immediate important parties, I felt a sense of peace about the situation.

Days later, I find myself in an almost panic. Did I make the right decision? Should I have changed some things around and just made it work? Am I playing it too safe? Have I closed a door on what could be one of my greatest adventures?

How do you know when you've truly made the right decision? I keep hoping a shining light will come down to reassure me or Morgan Freeman will give me a call to tell me "You did the right thing. All in good timing, Gingersnap."

But neither of those is going to happen. The truth is, we just have to make our decisions and roll with the punches. If we knew the perfect outcome to every decision ahead of time, life would be so dull.

Lesson learned: Decisions will always suck. And stress is a great weight loss program.

Lessons of the Country.

The show of the last ten months or so has been Sex in the City. I can't help it. This show is the definition of guilty pleasure. Funny, light, easy to watch, and (let's face it) the guide to womanhood. Though most of the show is what NOT to do as a grown woman, the four city women do show many truths about life.

I could go on and on as to what these truths are and how they apply to everything in everyone's lives, but I won't. You are welcome. A few nights ago, I was perusing the aisles of my local grocery store when I thought how Sex in the City lessons relate to country women. Sure, I can't run out and call a cab or grab a disgusting, yet amazing hot dog from a food cart. However, home life, love life, social life. LIFE. This is the same wherever you live. Especially for women.

Regardless of where you reside, best friends are best friends. A heart break is a heart break. A knock off is a knock off. Most importantly....men are still men.

While I haven't had the opportunity to live in a city like New York, yet, I just spent seven months in Orlando on an internship. I loved the fast paced atmosphere of living in the city. Traffic excited me more than frustrated me. There was always something to do. If I wanted to do something or go out for a bite at 3am, it was never a problem.

Enter small town Tennessee.

Pros: Gorgeous Mountains. The Smokey Mountain National Park is 30 minutes from my driveway. An abundance of hiking and country music. Weather wise, you can enjoy all four seasons in the span of one week. Rain on Monday and Tuesday. 70 degree weather on Wednesday. Storms on Thursday. Snow on Friday and Saturday. Southern hospitality is in abundance 'round these parts. You can strike up a conversation with a stranger anywhere and make an instant friend.

Cons: I. Loathe. Country. Music. The only good thing to come from country music is Keith Urban. Thank you, Australia. I would still be grateful for him if he were mute. The weather thing? We don't advertise that on our brochures for a reason. I can never pack up clothes, seasonally, because I never know what the weather will be like the next day. "Ergo", you are a snotty hot mess and have a continuous head cold from December through March. Everything closes early in a small town. Everything.

My friend and I were studying at a coffee shop the other night. They closed at nine. So we relocated the the McDonald's down the street. The hours posted claimed they were open for two more hours. After every employee stared us down for a good 3 minutes, we decided to just use the gas to drive to my place.

Lesson Learned: Slow down and try to enjoy to little things. Also, never go to McDonald's in a small town. Ever.

As far as the men...well, that's for another time.

TLC: True Life Catastophe.

Oh, TLC channel. I have been watching you for years. Shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and "What Not to Wear" inspired me not to wear garbage bags as clothing. You truly are an inspiration.

Over the years, you have become an even more inspirational television channel. Now, we have the groundbreaking shows like "Breaking Amish" and "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo".

You are teaching us so many new life lessons in such series. Here's what I've learned so far.

1. The family that plays "Guess that Breath" together, stays together.

2. The Amish are more judgmental than Gretchen Weiners.

3. The key to beauty pageants is to act as ridiculous as possible with a country girl weave.

4. The Sequel to "Breaking Amish" will, clearly, be "Amish Gone Wild".

5. And finally, if you're life is completely ridiculous, crazy, and you have some sort of accent...TLC will be calling you for a new series.

The most important factor in these series is the "Train Wreck Factor". Every show must have an element that makes it so bad people cannot take their eyes off of it. For example, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" has Honey Boo Boo...and June...and Sugar Bear...and Pumpkin...the whole family, basically. Breaking Amish has the basic turn tos. One turns into a troubled model, one is an eminem wannabe, and so on.

I truly do love this channel. I'm a sucker for the "Train Wreck Factor". Keep it coming TLC.

When I Grow Up.

"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I will never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!" - Peter Pan

As soon as we're old enough to have a descent thought, people ask us "What do you want to be, when you grow up?" First, the answers are really thought through and realistic.

Ballerina! Astronaut! Princess! Batman!

The question isn't a daunting or stressful thought, at the time. However, time moves on and many birthdays later, the question becomes real. Not just what we will be when we grow up, but who will I be? Who will I be with? Where will I be? Will I be that person forever?

So. Many. Questions.

Every year we celebrate a birthday. I have a big one, two weeks from today. We celebrate that day because it's been another year that we've grown and matured. And, of course, because we get presents. I am a different girl than I was five birthdays ago. Five birthdays ago, I was a big eyed freshman discovering what it meant to be a teenager. Then, I graduated with my major and life completely planned out. Like most, I switched my major after my first year at college. I graduate with my associates this summer.

It's time for me to graduate, figure out what university I want to transfer to for the remainder of my education, oh, and figure out what my major is really going to be.

Peter Pan is my favorite character, for obvious reasons.  Anytime I start thinking about what I want to do and where I want to live the rest of my life, I want to run off to Neverland. I mean, I am working at Disney World.

The fact of the matter is, I have no idea what I want to do from this point. I thought I did, but life has a fabulous way of changing any and every plan you make. For a while, this really freaked me out. Then, I realized I'm still changing and growing. So it's okay that I'm still figuring things out. However, I do not need to run off to Neverland and become a lost kid. I need to live life and make new experiences and memories every day. The rest will come.

Lesson Learned: Live.

Baby Fever.

Babies. Children. Whipper Snappers.

All the same to me.

I have come to the age where my friends are in one of the following categories:

1. Engaged and flaunting their happiness over every social network.

2. Married and consistently busy or asking permission of the spouse before they're able to do anything.

3. Single and praying for the above.

I didn't add "having or have a baby" to this list for the simple fact that girls around me have been popping out babies since high school. Hello, modern times.

The one thing every woman in this list do share is bouts of Baby Fever. It comes on fast and strong, so be forewarned lady friends.

First, you notice that those infant sized converse are actually cute despite being the price of an adult pair of converse. Next, you start noticing that every baby is adorable, especially the chunkers (curse those cheeks). Finally, you find yourself planning out your fake babies whole life and stopping at the baby section every time you visit the store.

I, thank goodness, have not caught this fever. However, most of the ladies around me have. Especially one roommate. Every time we go to Target, I find us perusing the baby section unplanned.

"Kelly, how cute would this be on my baby??"
"Wha...I thought we were in the office supplies..."

The Baby Fever takes hold of its victim and doesn't let go easily. Even after working six months for Disney with kids causing a ruckus and being on a bus with child screaming like an overweight opera singer, my roommate was starry eyed and squealing in the baby section.

Lesson learned: Babies make people crazy.

If the Baby Fever progresses to the next stage (Your Eggos Be Prego), one becomes obsessed and stressed immediately. Scary stuff, my friends. So prepare yourself for the Baby Fever and take the proper precautions to keep it away until you're ready.

The Precautions.

1. Watch Gremlins and assume that is what your baby will be. Just add apple juice.

2. Lock yourself in a room with a toddler and tell them Santa isn't real. And that he is actually a bikes from Philly.

3. Babysit twins every week.

Safety begins with you, friends. That is all.