Oh, TLC channel. I have been watching you for years. Shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and "What Not to Wear" inspired me not to wear garbage bags as clothing. You truly are an inspiration.
Over the years, you have become an even more inspirational television channel. Now, we have the groundbreaking shows like "Breaking Amish" and "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo".
You are teaching us so many new life lessons in such series. Here's what I've learned so far.
1. The family that plays "Guess that Breath" together, stays together.
2. The Amish are more judgmental than Gretchen Weiners.
3. The key to beauty pageants is to act as ridiculous as possible with a country girl weave.
4. The Sequel to "Breaking Amish" will, clearly, be "Amish Gone Wild".
5. And finally, if you're life is completely ridiculous, crazy, and you have some sort of accent...TLC will be calling you for a new series.
The most important factor in these series is the "Train Wreck Factor". Every show must have an element that makes it so bad people cannot take their eyes off of it. For example, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" has Honey Boo Boo...and June...and Sugar Bear...and Pumpkin...the whole family, basically. Breaking Amish has the basic turn tos. One turns into a troubled model, one is an eminem wannabe, and so on.
I truly do love this channel. I'm a sucker for the "Train Wreck Factor". Keep it coming TLC.
Monday, October 15, 2012
When I Grow Up.
"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I will never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!" - Peter Pan
As soon as we're old enough to have a descent thought, people ask us "What do you want to be, when you grow up?" First, the answers are really thought through and realistic.
Ballerina! Astronaut! Princess! Batman!
The question isn't a daunting or stressful thought, at the time. However, time moves on and many birthdays later, the question becomes real. Not just what we will be when we grow up, but who will I be? Who will I be with? Where will I be? Will I be that person forever?
So. Many. Questions.
Every year we celebrate a birthday. I have a big one, two weeks from today. We celebrate that day because it's been another year that we've grown and matured. And, of course, because we get presents. I am a different girl than I was five birthdays ago. Five birthdays ago, I was a big eyed freshman discovering what it meant to be a teenager. Then, I graduated with my major and life completely planned out. Like most, I switched my major after my first year at college. I graduate with my associates this summer.
It's time for me to graduate, figure out what university I want to transfer to for the remainder of my education, oh, and figure out what my major is really going to be.
Peter Pan is my favorite character, for obvious reasons. Anytime I start thinking about what I want to do and where I want to live the rest of my life, I want to run off to Neverland. I mean, I am working at Disney World.
The fact of the matter is, I have no idea what I want to do from this point. I thought I did, but life has a fabulous way of changing any and every plan you make. For a while, this really freaked me out. Then, I realized I'm still changing and growing. So it's okay that I'm still figuring things out. However, I do not need to run off to Neverland and become a lost kid. I need to live life and make new experiences and memories every day. The rest will come.
Lesson Learned: Live.
As soon as we're old enough to have a descent thought, people ask us "What do you want to be, when you grow up?" First, the answers are really thought through and realistic.
Ballerina! Astronaut! Princess! Batman!
The question isn't a daunting or stressful thought, at the time. However, time moves on and many birthdays later, the question becomes real. Not just what we will be when we grow up, but who will I be? Who will I be with? Where will I be? Will I be that person forever?
So. Many. Questions.
Every year we celebrate a birthday. I have a big one, two weeks from today. We celebrate that day because it's been another year that we've grown and matured. And, of course, because we get presents. I am a different girl than I was five birthdays ago. Five birthdays ago, I was a big eyed freshman discovering what it meant to be a teenager. Then, I graduated with my major and life completely planned out. Like most, I switched my major after my first year at college. I graduate with my associates this summer.
It's time for me to graduate, figure out what university I want to transfer to for the remainder of my education, oh, and figure out what my major is really going to be.
Peter Pan is my favorite character, for obvious reasons. Anytime I start thinking about what I want to do and where I want to live the rest of my life, I want to run off to Neverland. I mean, I am working at Disney World.
The fact of the matter is, I have no idea what I want to do from this point. I thought I did, but life has a fabulous way of changing any and every plan you make. For a while, this really freaked me out. Then, I realized I'm still changing and growing. So it's okay that I'm still figuring things out. However, I do not need to run off to Neverland and become a lost kid. I need to live life and make new experiences and memories every day. The rest will come.
Lesson Learned: Live.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Baby Fever.
Babies. Children. Whipper Snappers.
All the same to me.
I have come to the age where my friends are in one of the following categories:
1. Engaged and flaunting their happiness over every social network.
2. Married and consistently busy or asking permission of the spouse before they're able to do anything.
3. Single and praying for the above.
I didn't add "having or have a baby" to this list for the simple fact that girls around me have been popping out babies since high school. Hello, modern times.
The one thing every woman in this list do share is bouts of Baby Fever. It comes on fast and strong, so be forewarned lady friends.
First, you notice that those infant sized converse are actually cute despite being the price of an adult pair of converse. Next, you start noticing that every baby is adorable, especially the chunkers (curse those cheeks). Finally, you find yourself planning out your fake babies whole life and stopping at the baby section every time you visit the store.
I, thank goodness, have not caught this fever. However, most of the ladies around me have. Especially one roommate. Every time we go to Target, I find us perusing the baby section unplanned.
"Kelly, how cute would this be on my baby??"
"Wha...I thought we were in the office supplies..."
The Baby Fever takes hold of its victim and doesn't let go easily. Even after working six months for Disney with kids causing a ruckus and being on a bus with child screaming like an overweight opera singer, my roommate was starry eyed and squealing in the baby section.
Lesson learned: Babies make people crazy.
If the Baby Fever progresses to the next stage (Your Eggos Be Prego), one becomes obsessed and stressed immediately. Scary stuff, my friends. So prepare yourself for the Baby Fever and take the proper precautions to keep it away until you're ready.
The Precautions.
1. Watch Gremlins and assume that is what your baby will be. Just add apple juice.
2. Lock yourself in a room with a toddler and tell them Santa isn't real. And that he is actually a bikes from Philly.
3. Babysit twins every week.
Safety begins with you, friends. That is all.
All the same to me.
I have come to the age where my friends are in one of the following categories:
1. Engaged and flaunting their happiness over every social network.
2. Married and consistently busy or asking permission of the spouse before they're able to do anything.
3. Single and praying for the above.
I didn't add "having or have a baby" to this list for the simple fact that girls around me have been popping out babies since high school. Hello, modern times.
The one thing every woman in this list do share is bouts of Baby Fever. It comes on fast and strong, so be forewarned lady friends.
First, you notice that those infant sized converse are actually cute despite being the price of an adult pair of converse. Next, you start noticing that every baby is adorable, especially the chunkers (curse those cheeks). Finally, you find yourself planning out your fake babies whole life and stopping at the baby section every time you visit the store.
I, thank goodness, have not caught this fever. However, most of the ladies around me have. Especially one roommate. Every time we go to Target, I find us perusing the baby section unplanned.
"Kelly, how cute would this be on my baby??"
"Wha...I thought we were in the office supplies..."
The Baby Fever takes hold of its victim and doesn't let go easily. Even after working six months for Disney with kids causing a ruckus and being on a bus with child screaming like an overweight opera singer, my roommate was starry eyed and squealing in the baby section.
Lesson learned: Babies make people crazy.
If the Baby Fever progresses to the next stage (Your Eggos Be Prego), one becomes obsessed and stressed immediately. Scary stuff, my friends. So prepare yourself for the Baby Fever and take the proper precautions to keep it away until you're ready.
The Precautions.
1. Watch Gremlins and assume that is what your baby will be. Just add apple juice.
2. Lock yourself in a room with a toddler and tell them Santa isn't real. And that he is actually a bikes from Philly.
3. Babysit twins every week.
Safety begins with you, friends. That is all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)